Letter to Baby: Week 20

Today is a big day, little one! We made it to the halfway mark of this pregnancy. When I woke up this morning, that was one of my first thoughts, and I sent your dad a text message wishing him a “Happy 20 week Day,” even though I knew he was still sleeping. He’s been in Austin for several days, and comes back home tonight. I’m very excited to see him, and I know he’s excited to see both of us too.
Part of me can’t believe we’ve come so far. Another part of me can’t believe we’re only halfway there. But all of me is happy to reach this milestone.
Everyone is asking me if I’ve felt you moving, and I have finally been answering yes. But it hasn’t happened like I thought it would, and I’m sorry that I can’t tell you for sure when I first felt you. In my imagination, it was going to happen like this:
I’m sitting quietly at work or at home, when suddenly, I feel a hard kick in the abdomen that until that moment had been quiet and still. I’d gasp, sit up, grab my stomach, shed a tear, and call your dad. Then I run and tell everyone else.
But instead, over the last several weeks, I’ve felt little things. Like little bubbles. Like little taps – very light, very subtle. For a long time I’ve hoped those taps were coming from you, but I just wasn’t sure. But they’ve been happening more frequently and a little stronger, so that must be you saying hello, right?
Don’t worry, I’m not disappointed. I’m still waiting for a nice, strong wallop that couldn’t possibly be anything else, but I wouldn’t trade all these little signals for a minute. Everyone keeps telling me to be patient, that soon you’ll be so active I’ll sometimes wish you’d settle down – but every tap, every bubble is a good sign, so I can’t help but be impatient for the next time you do your dance.
Your Nana came to visit over the weekend, and she got to listen to your heartbeat. When she left, the house seemed a little too quiet, so I listened to you again and felt better. I’m so lucky to get to have you with me all the time.
I need to get ready to get your daddy from the airport. I’m sure you’ve missed his voice too. Sleep tight, he’ll be here soon, and we’ll all snuggle down for the night.